the voices in my head say...

the Onion ↘↖

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“Hopefully, the people who remain on the planet will use the mass slaughter of their friends and loved ones as an incentive to be more responsible going forward,” he added. (via Scientists: ‘Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?’ | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source)

26 January 2012 • funny the Onion science

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Pfizer Breaks Psychological Need To Always Seek FDA's Approval

NEW YORK—Pfizer spokesman Vincent Martin announced that the company had achieved a major personal breakthrough Monday by finally summoning the courage and confidence to overcome its need to constantly seek the FDA’s approval.

7 May 2011 • funny science the ONION

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Fate > Physics

Scorpio: Saturn rising in your sign will subject you to the powerful force of Fate, which everybody knows is stronger by far than electromagnetism, gravity, or the nuclear strong and weak forces.

18 January 2011 • funny science wisdom the ONION

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Pizza Hut’s New Pizza Lover’s Pizza Topped With Smaller Pizzas - the ONION

4 November 2009 • awesome food funny pizza the ONION

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